Title:Don't Touch The Wookie
Author: Vera
Category: M&M, Tag (sorta)
Rating: Teen
Disclaimer: I don’t own the characters, as much as I wish to own Michael.
Author’s Note: This is total fluff so don’t expect a real story.

Summary: This is a response to the Grand Opening Challenge over at Roswell Heaven, which required the following (selected):

5. part of the story should take place in Roswell or at least mention Roswell, and include or at least mention one of the following places
- the Crashdown

- Michael’s apartment

6. the story should include one of the following phrases (anyone can say them)

- chicka

7. the story should include one of the following

- someone dressed as an alien

8. And to tie in with the Grand Opening of the board - required in every story - someone must attend, see, or at least mention a grand opening of something alien themed (a restaurant, a store, anything you want)


Michael groaned and rolled over in bed. “Remind me again why we need to do this?”

”Because it's the grand re-opening.” Maria smiled down at him and stole the pillow from under his head and used it to swat his face. “Come on, SpaceBoy. Get up!”

He growled and grabbed the pillow back, now placing it over his head instead. “Oh, spare me.”

'Spare me?' What the hell, Michael?” Maria shook her head and tried to nab the pillow once again, just this time Michael saw it coming and held on to it tightly.

“Go away.” He kept his eyes tightly shut.

“Michael!” Maria whined. “We have to do this. It's our employee. It's what pays for this shabby apartment of yours.”

He just growled some more.

“Michael!” She stomped her foot but there was still no reaction so she decided to take a different approach and straddled him. “Come on, baby. If you're good today, you'll be rewarded.”

Michael cocked his head and slowly lowered the pillow, looking at her. “Rewarded how?”

“Well, first of Mister Parker is going to give you a bonus…”

He groaned and put the pillow back in its initial place right over his face, then he waved off.

“And then…” Maria's voice was strained. “Then I'll… oh you know what, Michael? No bonus for you. Instead if you don't get up right now you won't get any for at least a month.”

The pillow flew fast and Michael sat up in a flash. “What? You can't do that. You won't be able to.” He cocked his head in consideration.

“Want to find out?” She held his gaze and raised her eyebrow, knowing she'd win.

And she was right. Michael sighed and gave up. “Alright, I'm up.”

Maria smiled. “Great. Now go wash up and then put on your costume and we can go.”

He answered by falling back down on the bed with another deep groan. “Right. I forgot about that. No deal. I'm staying in.”

”Michael!” She shrieked. “Don't make me…” She stopped and rolled her eyes, deciding on yet another approach. “Think about the money. One hundred bucks. You can take me out for a nice dinner with that.” He raised his eyebrow. “And then by all means go buy that Metallica live compilation you've been dying to have.”

”Now you're talking.” He got up again with a grin and made his way into the bathroom. While he was in there, Maria changed into her usual waitress uniform.

“You know, you're lucky I'm here with the Jetta. You wouldn't have been able to ride your bike in this thing.”

Michael exited the bathroom with only a towel around his waist. “Don't remind me. Why did I get stuck with it anyways?”

”But Michael…” Maria pouted and waved the costume at him. “It's Chewie. Chewie's cute.”

”But why couldn't I be Han?” He huffed and went to his closet to get out some boxers.

“Because Max is Han.”

”Yeah. But only because he sleeps with the boss' daughter.” He made a face before dropping his towel.

Maria swallowed and did her best not to look. “That's… that's not true.”

He raised his eyebrow again. “What? You're saying he didn't get the costume because of Liz?”

”No, I guess that's true. It's just, they're not sleeping together.”

Michael snorted. “Oh, come on. They've been dating for over three years now, more or less. You're really going to tell me they're not…”

Maria shook her head.

He laughed. “So when Max keeps bragging about his damn alien sex even now that Tess is gone…”

”He's a guy, Michael. They all lie.”

He considered it for a moment and then laughed harder. “Figures.”

When he took the costume from her, Maria cocked her head. “So… when Max is bragging about all the sex he's not getting, what are you telling him?”

”I lie too.” Michael smirked at her.

“Lie how?”

“I tone it down. Tell him that yes, I am always pretty wiped afterwards, because of the ‘alien sex'” He made quotation marks with his fingers. “And then I also fall asleep because it is too intense. And no, we never have sex more than once a day either.”

Now it was her turn to laugh. “Oh my god, you really feel bad for him, don't you?”

“Yep.” He shrugged. “That, and I figured if he doesn't get it any better with two girls now, he might go after you. Because maybe you make the difference, and not that damn alien gene.”

“Aww.” Maria smiled and gave him a soft kiss before she hugged him. “You're sweet.”

He smiled back and stole another kiss before he zipped up his costume. Then he took the head under his arm. “Alright, let's go.”

Maria nodded and grabbed the keys.

“You know, there is one thing I still don't understand though…”

”What's that, baby?”

”Why are you wearing your normal uniform and not a costume as well?”

”Because I'm a waitress.”

”But I am the cook!”

Maria shrugged. “You just wanted to see me in a slave outfit with a gold bikini, didn't you?”

“You know it.” Michael grinned and then opened the front door.

“Hey, Michael?”


”What do you really tell Max about our sex life?”

Michael just laughed and together they left his apartment and made their way to the Jetta before she drove them to the CrashDown.

Once they arrived, Maria marvelled at all the colourful balloons and ribbons the CrashDown was decorated with. And Max, dressed as Han Solo, was already standing on the outside passing out menus to passer-byes.

“Why are they making such a big deal out of this anyways?” Michael grabbed his helmet but didn't put it on yet.

”Because it's the Grand Re-Opening, Michael! Can't you read the banner?”

“But they just repainted the walls!” He scowled. “It was closed for two days !”

“So?” Maria shrugged. “You're just pissed you have to wear the costume.”

He grunted in response and put on the Chewbacca head.

”Just be glad you're out there with Max and not inside behind the grill. I doubt this thing is fireproof.” She chuckled and passed her hands through his fur. “Although I have to admit, it feels rather nice under my fingers…”

Michael growled and grabbed her hand. “Too late to play, baby.” His voice was muffled and Maria had to bite her lip to keep from laughing. “You could have had this in the apartment. And when this day is over, I will not ever put it on again. Never.” He crossed his arms in front of his chest.

Maria pouted. “Not even when I wear a gold bikini?”

”Not even then.” He shook his head as best he could, which was pretty hard since the costume head was rather heavy.

“Aw, you're no fun.”

”Yeah well, you wear this thing and then we'll talk.” He groaned again. “I don't know how I am going to survive this day.”

“Just think about the money.” Maria shrugged. “And maybe I'll come drag you in the backroom during lunch break. Since you will only be in costume today.” She winked and then sashayed away from him. “Oh, there's Liz! Hey chica! Wait up for me!”

She quickly ran towards the café and hugged her friend. Michael shook his head and slowly followed her, still grumbling. “100 bucks? I must have been crazy. This torture has got to be worth 200 at the very least.” He sighed and then joined Max, taking some menu flyers from him and passing them out as well.

When the first kid made a smart-ass comment, he raised his arms over his head and gave a very good imitation of a Wookie scream. The look on the scared kid's face before it ran away was almost worse all the pain of wearing the damn thing. He grinned to himself. Now maybe if a few more kids would come his way, his day would get good after all.

The End


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